Jesus and only Jesus has the ability to calm these waves of restlessness that stir within my heart. What are you looking for? There is really only one answer to that question.
Where can I find you? I have come to understand you are my hope. “Where are you staying?” There is an unspoken preamble to this question. How did the disciples answer this question? They answered a question with a question. Or would your response be more practical. If Jesus, the Lord of the universe, through whom all things are possible, were to ask you, “What are you looking for?” how would you respond? My entire life at times appears to be a frantic search, and way too often I arrive to discover I’ve forgotten what I am looking for.
I feel like a pilgrim on a journey, but I don’t know where I am going and why. I fail to realize the answer to all of these questions is standing right before me.
Staying with the metaphor, I am dashing from room to room on this frantic search – a light bulb to illuminate my path, a screwdriver to fix my problems, a towel to wipe away the tears – and upon arrival, I forget why I am there. In all my success and status, I am searching for the one missing piece of the puzzle of my life. Straining to see if I need to move on, move out, move up. Striving to see a deeper meaning in my daily affairs. Even with all of the blessings I have in my life, there is this restlessness that is planted deep within my heart. Yet if I were to be brutally honest with myself, my perceived self-reliance would be like mist in the morning that dissipates with the burning sun. They continued their meaningless search through life. Don’t bother me now.” They did not follow Jesus. The rest might have been thinking, “I’ve got everything I need. Should that be my answer, I would be no different than the many other people who were standing near John the Baptist when he cried out, “Behold, the Lamb of God.” After such a bold proclamation, only two followed Jesus. Should Jesus ask me that question, would my answer then be, “Nothing much. In my spare time, I like gardening, hiking, reading, sometimes paddling. I stay busy trying to arrange for events and retreats at the Catholic Conference Center. I’ve got a pretty good job, a lovely marriage, in a good place financially, good health. To answer, my thought process would go something like this. He turns, our eyes lock, and while holding me in this penetrating gaze, he asks, “What are you looking for?” How would I answer? I am walking a little behind Jesus, but not too close. I imagine taking the place of Andrew there by the shore. He turns to them and asks, “What are you looking for?” They too might have been on a frantic search for something, but they didn’t exactly know what that something was. What are you looking for? Jesus asks the same question in the gospel today (Jn:35-42). More and more, I find myself dashing off into some room or another, only to arrive and realize I completely forget what I am looking for in the first place. My wife came in the kitchen and asked, “What are you looking for?” After a moment’s thought, I said, “I don’t remember.” I had gone on a mad search for something, but got so wrapped up in the search, I had forgotten what I was looking for. One day, I was frantically rummaging through a cabinet in the kitchen, moving cans and bottles and spices around on each shelf.
0 kommentar(er)
